MICRO EP: Damned if you do, damned if you don't: The double binds women face
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This micro-episode came from two therapy conversations I had that hit on the same frustrating theme: the absolutely ridiculous and contradictory standards women are expected to live by. I had to share because if you're feeling exhausted trying to meet impossible expectations, you're not alone.
First, the body bind: We're told that if we're "too sexy," we're asking for danger and assault, but if we don't have bodies that appeal to the male gaze, we're worthless. Second, the motherhood trap: Work too much and you're abandoning your children, but staying home makes you "privileged" and taking the easy way out. Either choice leaves us feeling not enough.
I call bullshit on all of it. These are traps designed to keep us measuring ourselves against external standards instead of trusting our own sense of what's good for us. My challenge: Can you find your enoughness within yourself and give yourself permission to choose a direction without apologizing for it?
Follow Carly on:
Website: https://onthecouchwithcarly.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfBi56xQookfRGL3zvWVzCg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthecouchwithcarly/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onthecouchwithcarly/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@onthecouchwithcarly
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/on-the-couch-with-carly/id1497585376
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3t7A2FMnISQ2fz9D5p0Xuw
First, the body bind: We're told that if we're "too sexy," we're asking for danger and assault, but if we don't have bodies that appeal to the male gaze, we're worthless. Second, the motherhood trap: Work too much and you're abandoning your children, but staying home makes you "privileged" and taking the easy way out. Either choice leaves us feeling not enough.
I call bullshit on all of it. These are traps designed to keep us measuring ourselves against external standards instead of trusting our own sense of what's good for us. My challenge: Can you find your enoughness within yourself and give yourself permission to choose a direction without apologizing for it?
Follow Carly on:
Website: https://onthecouchwithcarly.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfBi56xQookfRGL3zvWVzCg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthecouchwithcarly/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onthecouchwithcarly/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@onthecouchwithcarly
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/on-the-couch-with-carly/id1497585376
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3t7A2FMnISQ2fz9D5p0Xuw
Chapters
- 00:14 Introduction to unrealistic expectations and standards for women
- 00:38 Two contradictory binds women face in society
- 01:04 The sexual objectification double bind for women's bodies
- 01:45 Danger of being "too sexy" vs not attractive enough dilemma
- 02:15 Male gaze validation trap and self-criticism cycle
- 02:52 Motherhood work-life balance impossible standards
- 03:06 Working mother guilt vs lack of recognition at home
- 03:30 Workplace rewards vs invisible domestic labor
- 03:56 Stay-at-home mother privilege guilt and judgment
- 04:27 "Never enough" trap in all maternal choices
- 04:59 Calling out cultural bullshit and exhaustion
- 05:28 Challenge to notice impossible contradictions
- 05:54 Finding permission to choose your own direction
- 06:20 Collective support for women's worthiness
