Confession: "My new partner wants a child but I don’t want more kids”

Loading player...
Finding love as a single parent is fantastic! But what happens when your new partner has a baby-shaped hole in their heart and yours is firmly filled with independence? This is the dilemma facing Sarah, a 28-year-old mom whose boyfriend yearns for fatherhood. Sarah has poured her heart into raising her son and now, with him in Grade 5, she's finally found a sense of freedom. However, her boyfriend's desire for a child has been pressuring her, pushing Sarah towards drastic solutions like secretly getting her tubes tied. Sarah sent Stacey and J Sbu the following:
"I am a 28-year-old single mother of one who I had when I was very young, and I’m done with having more kids. My son is in grade 5 now, and we live a good life. My boyfriend (35) has no children, and he is desperate to have a child. I don’t want to have any more children, as I finally have the freedom that comes with having older children. I am feeling the pressure of him wanting a child, and since I’m set on not having more, I suggested he get someone else pregnant, we maintain our relationship because I love him, but I’m not willing to sacrifice myself or my life for this need. I am even thinking of tying my tubes without him knowing."
This situation requires open communication and maybe the option of finding a middle ground. Maybe they could explore fostering a child? Ultimately, the key is respecting each other's desires. Building a future together means compromise, but not self-sacrifice. While we’re no experts in this realm, we do believe that if their dreams of parenthood remain miles apart, a tough decision might be necessary.
27 Mar 2024 English South Africa Society & Culture · Personal Journals

Other recent episodes

Confession: New job, inappropriate comments, what do I do?

Every Thursday, we detail some of the wildest confessions from the streets of Mzansi. We get YOU to weigh in on your unfiltered thoughts. This week, the confession went a little like this: "I just started a new job, and the owner has already made a few inappropriate comments that…
26 Mar 8 min

What do you wish your team understood about what it really takes to lead?

Have you ever stopped to think about what your boss is actually juggling behind the scenes? We'd like to open up a conversation about what subordinates often don’t understand about being in leadership. It’s not just about giving orders or making decisions, leaders carry a weight of responsibility that can…
25 Mar 7 min

What’s one small parenting win that meant everything to you?

We know parenting isn’t just about the big, Instagram-worthy milestones, it’s the small, often unseen moments that really stay with you. That time your child said “thank you” without being asked, opened up about something they were struggling with, showed kindness when no one was watching… those are the moments…
25 Mar 7 min

Your Big Walk playlist that means something

As we build up to the Suncoast East Coast Radio Big Walk, we’re creating more than just a moment on the Durban Promenade, we’re creating a shared soundtrack to it. I think we can all agree that music has a way of carrying us through, whether it’s that final stretch…
19 Mar 7 min